Finding Out I Was Killing My Own Sex Life

By Anonymous. Originally published March 31, 2020.

Warning: this article is written by a novice with no medical training, so this article is to be taken as an opinion piece, not medical advice. 

Have you ever met somebody and just clicked instantly, talked for hours and not even noticed the time has gone by? Well that happened to me when I walked into a certain lingerie and sex toy shop and met a wonderful sales assistant!

I love learning new things, especially about sex and the female orgasm. I’m a big fan of them, and of having them, so meeting experts in this area and hearing their knowledge is amazing, especially when they help me fix issues.

The lady I met had studied in this area, had been a sex worker and also sold these toys, so she had a wealth of knowledge to tap into. She went through all the different toys, their benefits, what suits different people for different levels of pleasure.

This was when I discovered the issue I had been having. As she was going through the different toys, I asked her about the one I already had, that is when she explained about why she doesn’t recommend this toy. This toy had a history of making the nerves in the clit become over sensitive and also ruining the feelings. This she explained can lead to sensitivity during sex and inability to orgasm.

It clicked then that this was my issue. I had been wondering for months what was wrong with me, I had never been this sensitive, always had a high sex drive, but it had depleted (perhaps due to my over sensitivity) and I was having troubles orgasming.

This woman had not only taught me a bunch of things about different toys and what they target, she had solved a mystery of something I was so scared of. I was scared that this was a part of getting older, or a hormonal change, that having sex would prove uncomfortable forever.

I ended up buying a toy she recommended based on what I said I liked and based on my sex toy experiences. I was happy to realise since doing so that whatever possible damage had been done was starting to rectify itself. I started to orgasm more again, and the sensitivity, while still there had depleted greatly.

Maybe she was wrong, maybe the issue was that the toy just wasn’t right for me and the new one was better for my needs. There could have been no damage and it was all about what brought me pleasure. No matter what the real underlying issue this stranger changed my life.

I wanted to write this to let people know though that it’s okay to talk about sex, it isn’t shameful to open up, especially to people working in the industry, perhaps you’ll learn something about yourself or even just about others. She taught me a mass of things in a 2 hour encounter that I didn’t know before, this was just one thing. Sometimes you just meet somebody and you click instantly, and it doesn’t have to be about sex… although technically this was.


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